Let It Not Be Said
Yes, let it not
be said
that I have
attempted
avoidance
that I have
attempted.
Let it not be said.
Let it not be said
that I left it
left it there
to die
that I did not
touch it with my toe
dislodge it
watch it fall
Let it not be said
that I overdid it
didn’t do enough
let it go
without even
trying
let it not be said
let it not be said
that we will not
do anything
in response
to this
because we failed to
notice
Let it not be said
that there was nothing
to say
at all
nothing to
mark
this absence
Let it not be said
indeed
let silence
fall with
a deep clang
to catch our
attention
vibrate across
the wood floor
wake us up
Let it not be said that
I will recognize you
if I did not
know you
that in a crowd
you would stand out
and my eyes
would follow
the back of you
that I would
run
to catch up
that I would touch
your elbow
look into
your eyes
and know you
as mine
Let it not be said
that I didn’t
give it my best shot
that you didn’t smell
of fennel or cumin
in my nose
that I didn’t move
with the smell of you
in my nostrils
each breath you
on the pillow
next to me
Cotton and cumin
you and the bed
the landscape of the
unmade bed
in relief
but you
broken
begging
something steady
something steady
that’s all I ask
And me
pooled eyes
Of sorry
without the balance
that makes it
steady
no nothing to
offer you
Are you not ready
to give this up
to call it by the name
on the tip
of our tongues
for so long.
that signifies
something
final
that ends
even if you try
to call it back
even as it brushes past you
as it leaves
without turning
without stopping.
Let it not be said
that love is obvious
that it stands
by you
in the ruins
Let it not be said
that Easter Sunday
slipped by
without
a candle
or a prayer
of thanks
to something
believed
but not trusted
Something
warm in the chest
something to hold
onto
something to bow down to
something to look up to
something to pray for
for salvation
for forgiveness
for it all to end.
Let it not be said
that we did not try
to make this
this thing
work
that we did not
change the angle
more than once
to see if it was
something we could use
more than once
that we could
perhaps keep
and hold
from this day
forward
Let it not be said
that we did not veer
away from it
the edge
the end
of everything
that we did not
quake with fear
and look away
for a moment
for a day
for a lifetime
anything
but not this
not this sheer drop
away
from all we know
Let it not be said
that we did not try
to ignore it
the verge
the drop
our approach
Let it not be said
that we did not try
to hold
together
in the face of it
that we did not
insist
and that nothing
heard us
Let it not be said
that we were
in any way
against
an answer
any sound
any sign
to reverse things
Let it not be said
that I didn’t
want this
that I didn’t
chase this
that I didn’t catch it
and hold it
and mould it to myself
Let it not be said
more than anything
let us not
wrap it in words
that make it real
if we do not look
does it exist
if we do not look
will it go away
Let it not be said
when a heart
breaks
it makes no sound.
Art: Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash