Here For Wonder

Let It Not Be Said

Yes, let it not be said that I have attempted avoidance that I have attempted. Let it not be said. Let it not be said that I left it left it there to die that I did not touch it with my toe dislodge it watch it fall Let it not be said that I overdid it didn’t do enough let it go without even trying let it not be said let it not be said that we will not do anything in response to this because we failed to notice Let it not be said that there was nothing to say at all nothing t

Under The Bed

It is possible To lie beneath The bed Of your beloved Amid the mites And dust and dark Straining to watch The stillness Of the bedsprings Chewing thoughtfully On biltong* Dried and Salted Drenched in coriander As settlers did in wagon Circles curved Against the African night It is possible to wait Interminably For sounds Beyond cicadas Of bare feet On bare wood For this face you love With such a Desperate first love To appear as planned And yet suddenly Looking, seeing This s

To My Husband on Oblivion

The restaurant is small, easy to miss, tucked down a side street in the Latin Quarter. It has been decades since we were last in the city of lovers and Paris wears the silk sheen of spring rain. It is our last night and we’ve had more than enough time to fall in love with this place again. We are no longer 23 and we certainly aren’t backpacking this time. We have a room with slim French doors opening on a partial view of the Pantheon in a stylish little place within walking d

Nobody Home

Is there time for this she asks hands pressed together like the wing of a prayer really, is there time -- for this? And you can’t see her eyes behind lids and lashes. Does she really want to communicate? If so, why the hair curl where the shoulders curve upwards like a smile or a shrug. Not to care says her posture. Not really, you see. You can’t reach me because quite frankly I’m not in here. More fool you-- for thinking that I was. Art: Mario Almos | Flickr #love #rejection

Love is a Mystery

Sometimes you fall in love with Something quite Irreconcilable Something with a nose Too big A paunch Too far Something inside So dark That when you see it It blurs And swallows you up Quite thoroughly Something challenging That coincidentally You can’t explain Despite your best efforts To those You love Who armed with no imagination quite like your previous self fail to comprehend and thus lend inexplicably a certain thrill to the union oh yes. Art: Relationship | Dia Al-azz

You Won't Hold Me Like I'm Luscious

I have been scratching around in the dirt with my gnarly sharp claws and my ugly clumps of feathers sticking up around bald pink patches of scaly skin snapping at you with my sharp bitter beak — because you won’t hold me like I am luscious. You seem repelled by this furious needy thing, you step back and away and I walk round in circles utterly self absorbed but never enough to scoop my own self up and nurse me, only enough to get tired and fretful and ever more needy. So it

Trading My Small Nuance for a Bigger One

I thought I could do nuance. I love the word. And there are so many other, quite necessary things I lack, so I was grateful that at least I had that, I had nuance. I fibrillate, I know the spaces between things, therefore I can appreciate nuance. But it turns out that my uncharacteristic confidence in this elusive, shimmering thing has led me down the garden path. Now I have to add this to my very long list of things I need to fix about my personality. I thought my list was l

This Morning We Solved Our Marriage by Pretending to be Dogs

At least once a day our marriage needs solving, if we stop working on it for a moment it devolves into something insoluble that can make us choke and die, at least in the relationship sense. So today we hit one of those sticking points which, as I said, pretty much comes up if we are awake. The air around us got heavy with disappointment and hot with irritation because the glib phrase 'opposites attract' should be a longer one that includes the word 'sometimes', and these one

Someone Else's Hot Night in Lisbon

That night, always the night. That night in Lisbon, you were sick, remember? It was such an embarrassing finger pointing night and we thought it was sad just because you couldn't eat. We had an intimate relationship with that bed. It was hard and unsympathetic but the space was enchanting. You could walk into the fireplace, animal skins lay ruefully on the slab floor and the walls, so many layers of stone. It was dark, even in the day. There was a door leading somewhere but

That Night in New York

If I had one night to spend in New York on my way to Africa, I wouldn't have an argument. I’d use my time more wisely. And then of course I would not be me and, to be fair, he would not be him, the stubborn man I married thousands of years ago when I was barely born and knew no better. But, whatever or however a horrible pair we were descending upon this city for that fateful night, it was fortunately not within our nefarious powers to ruin the whole of Manhattan. Just our li

Never Let Me Go

I sat next to heartbreak at the coffee shop this afternoon. I didn’t mean to. I could feel the energy before I sat down, I just didn’t believe myself. It was the most civil of breakups. What is pain when it’s dressed in such gentility? Does it make less of a tearing sound? She is slim and undulating like the stem of a new poppy; someone unused to sitting still. Young, so young and beautiful, not a mark on her, tawny long hair wound and wrapped, in and over itself, down her ba

ECSTACY

You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet."
Franz Kafka

here for wonder

ready or not...

Let It Not Be Said

Under The Bed

To My Husband on Oblivion

Nobody Home

Love is a Mystery

You Won't Hold Me Like I'm Luscious

Trading My Small Nuance for a Bigger One

This Morning We Solved Our Marriage by Pretending to be Dogs

Someone Else's Hot Night in Lisbon

That Night in New York

Never Let Me Go

Now is the Time

Alone Without Truth

At The Long Silver Silence

Will You Go Now

Shall I Remind You

On Ruminating

The Very End of Everything

Scenes From a Long Marriage

Stasis

Let It Not Be Said

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